oh b**her!!!***!!!

I am typing this very a.m., for me that is, sitting in my dressing gown quietly fuming while I wait for the utility floor to dry. Why? Because our American fridge is going to that great white goods home in the sky (although actually it was a very fetching stainless steel). On Tuesday we callously went shopping, leaving it home alone, so it blew a fuse, as we discovered when we went to store said shopping in its capacious interior. We replaced the fuse, and all seemed to be well, but the freezer was quietly defrosting all the while, as I discovered when I stepped up to my ankles in water in the dim light of early evening.

So we switched it off for a rest, poor soul, and next day the fridge-mending genius came round to minister unto. Hmm. He said the something-or-other had gone, and quoted a price to repair it which I cannot repeat here, because I would have to swear, and this is a family blog!!

Now this is particularly annoying at this time, because we are hoping to move to the country, and have been nursing all our white goods, and indeed a great many other things, on the basis that 'we'll get a new one for the new house'. Of course, in the present economic climate, this could go on for a very long time. Already we are having to kidglove the dryer, which is very testy. And we have to have a dryer here, because we can't hang washing on the twelfth floor of a tower block. And it has to be a cash-eating condenser monster because we don't have an outlet - so all the more reason for not buying before we go, blah, blah, blah!

So nothing for it but to ditch the big American and buy a little Brit!! Just to tide us over, until we know what we're doing, I mean where we're going, because I don't think we ever know what we're doing. This will cost us a quarter of what it will cost to repair the US monster.

So then the saga of putting the old fridge out for collection began. Which went like this: turn off the water supply (it had an icemaker and water fountain), disconnect without drowning myself again. Push out through utility door. ???!!!??? Utility door narrower than fridge. Hmm. Right said Fred, have to take the door off ... Which door though, kitchen or fridge (two doors)? Fridge then. Because a) they don't matter any more, and b) we won't have to put them back on - genius, eh? First door comes off without a problem, so can leave husband to it and get on with my blog, which is way overdue. 3 screws and we're done. Second door also only 3 screws, so no problem ... I continue blogging happily. An hour, many interesting words and some dozen spanners later, several large hammer blows sound from utility and door cedes. I stop blogging and go to the aid of husband, now huffing and puffing and in a muck sweat. Realise have to sever a pipe. Realise that this will cause a leak. Realise we will have to put plastic bags under fridge outside to catch any drips. Realise must move fridge back to get at plastic bags. Mutter, mutter, mutter (more words not suitable for family blog). Finally succeed in parking fridge, doors and all, on landing.

So that's why I'm up at the crack blogging. In an uncharacteristic bout of houseproud spring-cleaning, I have determined that all shall be pristine to make the new fridge feel at home. Thus here I am, having stripped and rinsed the Amtico, waiting for the utility floor to dry, so I can add floor dressing. And then go and have my bath. And then start my day, already knackered. Grrrrr ......